Oh, David Maran of Bristol, how we love thee and your buffoonery.
This particular man, however, took his shenanigans to the next level by put groceries in his shopping cart and left without paying at ShopRite in Southington. Police said he tried stealing about $80 worth of groceries.
Look, ShopRite is a wonderful place. If you need some meat, they have an amazing fresh selection.
ShopRite reported that they saw Maran pass all points of sale and exit the store through the produce department. An employee approached him in the parking lot, and escorted him back inside.
Here is the kicker…
As Maran was being taken into custody, a search of Maran revealed a glass smoking pipe commonly used to ingest narcotics, with charred residue inside a rolled-up paper towel in the pocket of his jacket.
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